焦点作文

时间:2021-10-30 14:10:05 初中作文范文

篇一:《2014英语中考作文焦点》

1英语中考作文焦点——以环保话题 如: the waste here and there.(不准乱扔垃圾)。比如:(过渡句)The most important problem in the world today is pollution .(当今世界最重要的话题就是污染问题。)

save water(节约水是我们每个人的责任。)As we know , water is very important to man, (我们知道,水对人类来说是非常的重要。)we can’t live without water. (没有水我们就不能生存。)But some people don’t care about it .(但是有些人却不关心或不在意。)They waste a lot of water in their daily life. (日常生活中他们浪费很多水。)Even worse, (更糟糕的是他们排放污水到河流里。) They throw rubbish into rivers , too. (他们还乱扔垃圾到河流理去。)Many rivers and lakes are seriously

篇二:《英语中考作文焦点》

英语中考作文焦点——以环保话题

1) It’s our duty to save water(节约水是我们每个人的责任。)

As we know , water is very important to man, (我们知道,水对人类来说是非常的重要。)we can’t live without water. (没有水我们就不能生存。)The amount of water which is suitable to drink is less and less. (适合人类喝的水是越来越少了。)But some people don’t care about it .(但是有些人却不关心或不在意。)They waste a lot of water in their daily life. (日常生活中他们浪费很多水。)Even worse, they pour dirty water in to rivers.(更糟糕的是他们排放污水到河流里。) They throw rubbish into rivers , too. (他们还乱扔垃圾到河流理去。)Many rivers and lakes are seriously polluted.(很多河流湖泊已经受到严重污染。) Something must be done to stop the pollution. (人类必须采取一些措施来制止污染。)Only in this way can we live happily.(只有这样,我们才过得幸福开心。) If we don’t save water, the last drop of water will be a tear-drop of us.( 如果我们不节约水,那么最后一滴水也许会是我们人类的眼泪)

2) Planting trees

Trees are very helpful and important for us. (树对我们人类是多么的重要和有用。)We should plant more and more trees in order to live better and more healthy in the future. (为了将来我们的生活过得更好、更加健康我们应该种更多的树。)It’s everyone’s duty to love and protect the environment.(爱护和保护环境是每个人的责任和义务

3) 旅游介绍

预览摘要:

北京奥运会期间,有一大批外国人来北京参观。假设你是导游,请根据以下内容,向外宾简单介绍北京的情况。要求: 1. 100 词左右; 2. 要点包括:a. 有悠久的历史b. 有许多名胜古迹

Ladies and gentlemen,(女士们、先生们)

Welcome to BeiJing, now let me introduce Beijng to you.(欢迎到北京,我来介绍北京给大家。)

Beijing is a city with a long history. It is in the north of China. It has a population of 13,240,000.(北京是一个历史悠久的城市,它位于中国的北部,人口13.240.000)

There are many places of interest in Beijing, such as the Summer Palace and so on.(北京有很多名胜古迹,象颐和园等等。) The Great Wall is a beautiful place.(长城是个漂亮的地方。).There is a saying that he who has never been to the Great Wall is not a true man. (有句谚语说:不到长城非好汉)The water in Miyun Reservoir is clean and not polluted. (密云水库的水很干净没有受污染。)There are all kinds of fish in it. (里边有各种各样的鱼。)You can go boating, go fishing and have a picnic there.(那里你可以划船、钓鱼或者野炊。) It is really a good place to spend your holiday. (那里真是个度假的好地方。)Besides, you can go and visit Beijing Museum. (此外,你还可以去游览北京博物馆。)There you can see a lot of dinosaur egg fossils.(那里你可以看到很多恐龙蛋和化石。)

I hope you can enjoy yourselves in Beijing.(我希望大家在北京玩得开心快乐。)

Thank you.(谢谢)

4)、近日,你班在“知荣明耻”“八荣八耻大家谈”教育活动中,召开了一次关于学生荣辱观的主题班会。存在的问题1.不尊敬老师、家长等。2.学习散漫、考试作弊等。3.乱扔垃圾、污损环境等等。

Recently we have held a class meeting to discuss what is considered to be honorable behavior and what is shameful. (最近我们班开了个班会讨论什么是光荣和耻辱。)It is really a pity to see all this in our school.(很遗憾在学校看到这些现象)Some students don’t respect their teachers or parents. (不尊敬老是和父母)Some don’t take their studies seriously and cheat in exams. (作业不认真,考试作弊)Some throw wastes everywhere and pollute the environment . (到处乱扔垃圾污染环境。)It is honorable to obey the law and rules , care much about our class and study hard.(关心班级、努力学习、遵纪守法是光荣)It is shameful to break school rules, to be selfish or to make little effort to achieve success.(违反学校纪律、自私骄傲是可耻的)We should respect others and think more of them than of ourselves.(我们应该尊敬别人经常关心别人)We should work hard and make much more progress to repay the society.(我们应该努力学习取得更大进步从而回报社会。)We should try our best to keep the environment clean。(我们应该想方设法保持干净的环境。)

人与环境是和谐相处的,我们生存在地球上,人是自然之子,而不能仅把人看作自然的征服者,大家都知道,人类只有一个地球,地球上的山山水水、动物。植物是人类的细胞,如果我们把它损坏了,破坏了大自然的

组织,等于消灭人类。因此,环境要与社会公德联系起来,与实践行为作为人格教育的一项重要内容来抓。每个人都要履行保护环境的责任和义务。

Harmony with the environment is that we live in on Earth, who is a natural son, and not only to natural persons as the conqueror, as we all know, there is only one earth and the mountains on Earth, the animals. Plant human cells, if it damaged, destroyed nature organizations, to the eradication of mankind. Therefore, the environment must be linked with social ethics, character education and practice acts as an important element of it. Everyone must fulfil its responsibilities and obligations to protect the environment.

保护我们的城市(Saving Our City)

It is very important to deal with the rubbish in cities. Rubbish must be thrown away or reused properly. Or it may cause a lot of problems. It may pollute the air and water. People may get ill when they breathe the polluted air or drink the polluted water.

Our city has started to face the problem. Some rubbish is sorted and sent to a certain place .Waste gas is cleaned before it goes into the air. Waste water is also cleaned before it is poured into rivers.

People should be prevented from throwing rubbish everywhere. We should try our best to take care of our environment and fight against pollution.

保卫地球(Saving the Earth)

As time goes by, man is making the earth sick. People cut down too many trees and leave rubbish everywhere. Factories let out their waste without doing anying to it . This has cause some serious problems. Such as the land is sandy, the river is dirty, the air is less clean, even the temperature of the earth is rising. What should we do to save the earth ? My suggestion is that we should plant more trees, put rubbish into dusbins and stop factories pouring waste directly into the air or rivers. In all, we have only one earth, we should do our best to protect it, or we will regret.

如何保护环境(How to Protect the Environment)

Good environment can make people feel happy and fit . To improve the environment means to improve our life. We should plant more trees and flowers around us . We shouldn’t cut them down . We should stop factories from pouring waste water into the river and waste gas into the air. Whenever we see litter on the ground , we should pick it up and throw it into dusbins. Never spit in public. Don’t draw on public walls. It’s our duty to protect the environment.

环保(environmental matter)

The environmental matter is a hot topic nowadays. Not only does it affect our health, it also has a great impact on our future.

Due to lacking of environmental concepts, people''''s health has been greatly affected by air, noise and water pollution. In order to live a better life, we need a cleaner world. We should now be concerned for environment by creating a better future for our next generation.

In conclusion, the environmental matter is an important issue that directly affects very human in the world! 关于环境保护(水资源节约)的话题

Our environment is very important for our lives . We need the fresh air, the clean water and so on . In the past, there were many trees around us ,the air was fresh and the river was clean.Butnow,people cut down many trees. Air pollution and water polloution are very serious . The environment around us becomes very terrible . We should protect our environment. First, we should plant many trees to keep water. Second , we can ride a bike or walk to the school and work.. Third , we shouldn’t throw the dirty water into the river . Fourth, we shouldn’t use the plastic bags. Finally, we can ask more people to join us.

中考英语作文范文——中学生适当的放松方式

中学生学习时间长、压力大,专家建议学生每天课后应采取适当的方式放松自己。某英文报“学生习作”专栏正在就“学生适当的放松方式”这一话题进行征文。假设你是二十二中初三(3)班的班长,最近你对班上同学课后放松方式进行了调查。请根据表格提供的调查信息和要求写一篇短文向该报投稿。

对象

二十二中初三(3)班

人数

60人(男:31人;女:29人)

常用放松方式

1.看电视(30人) 2.玩电脑游戏(12人) 3.听音乐(8人) 4.进行体育锻炼(5人) 5.没有时间放松(5人)

你的观点

哪一种(些)放松方式是适当的?为什么?

注意:

1.短文包括对调查相关信息的介绍和你自己的观点; 2.词数:80-100。题目和开头已为你写好,不记入总词数。

The Proper Way(s) for students to Relax

I am the monitor of Class 3,Grade3,No.22MiddleSchool.Recently I have made a survey of the students in my class on ways to relax after class.

There are 60 students in my class(31 boys and 29 girls ).Different students have different ways to relax.Half of the students often watch TV.12students like to play computer games while 8 enjoy listening to music.5 students think doing sports is a good way and another five are busy to relax.

(As we study too long every day and suffer from too much pressure,every student should choose proper ways to relax.In my opinion, watching TV or playing computer games is not a proper way to help us relax.)I thing taking exercise is a proper way because it can rest our brains and eyes. Besides,It can help improve our health.(Therefore,I often Play pingpong after class.It’s really helpful to both my health and my study.)

中考英语作文范文——体育运动的好处和坏处

体育运动的好处和坏处(Positive and Negative Aspects of Sports)

a. 体育运动的好处

b. 体育运动可能带来的副作用

c. 我参加体育活动的体会

Sports do us good in many respects (TS). It goes without saying that taking exercises can build up our physical strength. In collective sports like basketball, volleyball, or football, we will learn the importance of cooperation. While taking part in sports game, we will try our best to win and arouse ourselves the competitive spirit. Sports can also help us relax after a period of exhausting work. However, as the saying goes, "there are two sides to everything", and sports is without exception. We may hurt other players or ourselves if we are not careful enough when participating in sports activities. What''s more, excessive or severe training can do harm to our health.

My participation in sports tells me that sports can make us healthy both physically and psychologically. It is also a good way for people to know each other and can promote friendship between people. So long as we are carefully enough, sports can do us nothing but good.

中考英语作文范文——北京之旅(A Trip To Beijing){焦点作文}.

On July 5th my parents took me to Beijing. We stayed at Huabei Hotel. On the first day, we went to the Great Wall. The Great Wall is very long and old. It has millions of bricks. Each brick is very big and heavy. Lots of people from different countries like climbing the Great Wall. We felt very tired when we climbed to the top of the Great Wall. We also went to the Palace Museum. The Palace Museum has 9999 palaces. It has a very long history. I bought a lot of souvenirs of the Palace Museum. What nice palaces these are! I visited the Palace Museum and felt excited. If you want to know more about the Palace Museum, you can go to Beijing and have a look.

The following days, we went to the Summer Palace, Tian Tan, North Lake and Xiang Hill. I now know more about

the history of China. I also like modern Beijing. The 2008 Olympic Games will be held in Beijing.

Later, I went back with my parents by train. I really enjoyed the trip to Beijing

中考英语作文范文——坚持你的梦想

坚持你的梦想(Hold to Your Dreams)

提纲:

1.坚持梦想才有可能实现它。

2.举例说明。 Everyone has his dreams, but not all these dreams can come true. People give up their dreams for this or that reason. Those whose dreams become true have at least one thing in common, that is, they always hold fast to their dreams.

Marie Curie, a famous scientist, has set a good example. In 1898, Marie found a new element in the pitchblende. In order to prove her discovery, she must get it and show it to the world. Then to get the new element became her dream and goal of her life. After four years'' hard work and refinement of tons of pitchblende, Marie and her hus-band at last saw the dim blue light of the new element -- radium. Her dream had come true. There are many other examples. Just around us, for instance, the athletes who gain the gold medals, the artists who are popular with the public, and even the students who enter tile university after years of hard study and preparation, are all dream-holders.

Hold fast to your dreams, no matter how big or small they are. The path to dreams may not be smooth and wide, even some sacrifices are needed, but hold on to the end, you ,sill find there is no greater happiness than making your dream come true.

中考英语作文范文——我爱我的家

根据中文意思和英文提示词语,写出意思连贯、符合逻辑的英文文段。所给的英文提示词语必须都用上;中文提示内容不必逐句翻译;根据英文提示,每组所写出的句数不限。(共12分)

几年以前我家只有一间小屋。三个人住一间屋真是艰难。现在我们已经搬进了一套两室一厅的单元房。我非常高兴。当我父母做. . . , 我能. . . 。我爱我的家。

1. a few years ago, family, have one small room

2. it, be, three people, in the same room

3. now, a new flat(单元房), one living room, two bedrooms

4. be happy, my homework, quietly, my own room, my parents

A few years ago, my family had only one small room. It was very hard for three people to live in the same room. Now we have moved into a new flat with one living room and two bedrooms. I''m very happy. I can do my homework quietly in my own room when my parents do the housework or other things. I love my home.

中考英语作文范文--我的家乡

请你根据下面的提纲,以“我的家乡”为题,写一篇100—120字的短文。

提纲:(1) 家乡的地理位置;(2) 解放前的情况;(3) 解放后的变化;(4) 对家乡的感情。

My Home Town

My home town is a beautiful place. It stands beside a wide river and is rich in fish and rice.

But in the old days it was a poor and backward little town. Many people had no work. They lived a hard life.

In 1949 my hometown was liberated. Since then great changes have taken place there. The streets have been widened. Factories, schools, hospitals, cinemas and theatres have sprung up one after another. The life of the people is greatly improved.

I love my hometown. All the more I love its people. They are working hard so as to make it still richer and more beautiful.

篇三:《怎样用焦点素材为作文锦上添花》

怎样用焦点素材为作文锦上添花

苏殿奇

2012年语文高考大纲作文发展等级对“创新”的要求是这样的:“见解新颖,材料新鲜,构思新巧,推理想象有独到之处,有个性色彩。”其中,“材料新鲜”实际上是要求考生作文时要注意选择一些具有时代特点,能给读者以扑面而来的“新气”的热点素材。其实,不少学生在关注社会生活的同时积累了较多的热点素材,那么,怎样才能使这些热点素材为自己的作文锦上添花,使之花开满园呢?

一、选定角度,紧扣中心。

一般情况下,一则热点素材往往有多个运用角度或方向。因此,转述热点素材时要紧扣文章的中心或论点,使叙述的材料与中心高度一致。这样,热点素材才更有说服力,才更能凸显文章的主旨。我们来看下面一则热点素材:

2012年的诺贝尔医学奖得主英国医学教授约翰〃格登上中学时生物科成绩总排在最后一名,其他学科排名也非常靠后,被同学讥笑为‚科学蠢材‛。老师对他如是评价:‚他连简单的生物知识都学不会,根本不可能成为专家,对于他个人以及想教导他的人来说,这根本是浪费时间。‛虽然成绩差、不被老师和学校看好,但格登仍然非常坚持自己的想法,他对生物学的热爱从来没有减少过,终于他的付出得到了回报。据法新社报道,在科研生涯中,格登一直兢兢业业,79岁的他现在仍坚持全职工作。在被通知获得诺贝尔奖时,他还在实验室工作。一名英国记者曾试图联系格登进行连线采访,但格登的实验室答复称:‚格登正在工作,请不要打扰他。‛格登目前任教的剑桥大学计划为他办一个庆功宴,但格登表示自己很快会回到实验室继续工作。

细分析之,这则材料有以下运用方向:面对挫折;在困境中坚持;成功源自不断的努力;淡泊名利等。只要作文的主题是以上四个运用方向中的任意一个,那么就可以选择这则素材作为文章的论据,只不过在运用素材时要重点转述能突出文章主旨的内容,其他内容可一略而过。如此,才能使热点素材发挥其最大的效用,为自己的作文妙增彩色。

二、转述材料,富含情感。

使用热点素材时,倘能融入自己的爱憎之情,好恶之意,喜怒之色。那么,一可使文章严肃中透出活泼,令人感到亲切;二可使读者易把握作者的感情倾向,使其感觉热点素材真实可信,增强文章的说服力。需要注意的是,这种情感要体现文章的中心或论点。

2012年山东高考满分作文《坚守责任 铸就成功》对“最美司机”吴斌的材料是这样使用的:“近日,一位平凡的客车司机给人留下了不平凡的壮举。他,就是浙江大巴车司机吴斌。短短七十六秒,每一秒都那么惊心动魄,吴斌用强烈的责任心,用超乎常人的坚持演绎了一部悲壮的英雄故事。突如其来的铁块击中吴斌的腹部,其撞击力无法想象。然而,吴斌考虑到乘客安全,他作为司机,坚守责任,强忍住巨大的疼痛,稳住车子,踩刹车,拉手刹,告诉乘客要注意安全。一系列艰难的动作,体现了吴斌强烈的责任心。周立波评价吴斌说‘他的行为如好莱坞大片,悲壮、令人震撼。但是,好莱坞用的是特技,而吴斌用的,是他的血肉之躯’”。

2012年高考前,“最美司机”吴斌的事迹是传遍大江南北的热点现象,人们在感叹世风日下的同时,对其对责任的坚守、对生命的敬畏充满了深深的赞叹。

作者在转述吴斌这个热点素材时,没有停留在对事件的简单解说上,而是在叙述中融入了自己的感情,字里行间充满了对吴斌的敬仰,不但突出了文章的中心,而且使读者在感叹吴斌义举的同时,也对自己或周边一些不负责任的人或现象进行反思。

三、透过表象,探得实质。

作为论证观点的热点现象可谓丰富多彩,有些热点素材是社会生活中的某种表象。对此,我们要善于透过表象,挖掘实质。这样,才能把问题讲清,把道理说透,才能使文章给阅卷老师以深刻之感。如冯骥才在《春运是一种文化现象》一文中,使用了这样一个热点事件:

大约是农历腊月二十九吧。一个又矮又瘦的中年男子赶火车回家。火车马上要开,车门已经关上。这男子急了,大概他怕大年之夜赶不回去,就爬车窗。按常规,月台上的值勤人员怕他出事,一定要拉他下来,车上的人一准也要把他往外推。但此刻忽然反过来,车上的人一起往窗里拉他,月台上值勤人员则用力把他推进车窗。那一刻,车上车下的人连同那中年男子都开心地笑了,列车就载着这些笑脸轰隆隆开走了。

“春运”可谓中国一道独特的风景。每年春节的时候,人们都会将关注的目光投向令人欢喜令人忧的“春运”。对这样的热点现象,很多人只是摇头感叹,并未深入了解其背后的意蕴。但冯骥才对其的看法没有停留在表面,而是进行了深入的剖析:“为什么?因为人们有着共同的情怀——回家过年。如果换一双文化的眼睛,就会发现,春运真正所做的是把千千万万在外工作的人千里迢迢送回他们各自的家乡,去完成中国人数千年来的人间梦想:团圆。”这样,由表象而实质,揭示了扒车回家所蕴含的深刻内涵,突出了“春运是一种文化现象”的主题,令人信服。

四、论据迭加,铺排有力。

热点素材主要用在议论文中,而议论文主要是为了阐明道理,以理服人。因此,倘能选用一组热点事件来论证文章的观点,那么文章的说服力则会大大增强。用这种方式安排热点事件时,要注意,所选用的论据在内涵上要保持一致,即相似论据;在句式上尽可能地整齐划一,以形成论说的气势。

2012年全国新课标卷满分作文《点一盏善的灯》运用了这样一组热点素材:快乐的巴郎在烟火缭绕的街市上大声放歌,凭烤肉那微薄的收入资助失学儿童,阿里木,不是做作,而是最朴素的恻隐;不是愚蠢,而是最平凡的善心。义举冲天的妈妈以羸弱的身躯托住了年幼孩子的生命,吴菊萍,不是做作,而是最温柔的母性;不是愚蠢,而是最质朴的善心;在街头拾荒的阿姨用年迈的双手勇敢地与死神搏斗,陈贤妹,不是做作,而是出自内心的本能;不是愚蠢,而是发自内心的善良……

阿里木、吴菊萍、陈贤妹是2012年高考前引起人们强烈关注的三个热点人物,其事迹更是引发了人们关于社会价值的广泛讨论。在这篇作文里,作者将这三个热点人物的事迹简略概括,铺陈开来,既给读者以强烈的时代感,又突出了文章“善”的主题。

五、鲜活语言,耳目一新。

运用热点素材时,不可生搬硬套原材料中的文字,而要在语言上狠下工夫,最好运用各种手段对其加工重组,争取使其以新的视角和面孔出现在读者面前,这样的文章会给读者耳目一新之感。

2012年全国新课标卷满分作文《暖潮》对小悦悦被碾压致死的素材是这样

的运用的:‚在路旁玩耍的小悦悦被一辆货车无情地碾入车轮下,钢铁巨兽压过她那如花般娇嫩的身体,她瘫倒在路旁,想呼喊自己的妈妈,却一声也叫不出来,她的生命之花正在失水、凋零,路人都看着她,眼中不知是无情还是冷漠,他们看着鲜艳的花朵一点点凋零,难道心中没有掠过一丝难过与怜悯吗?多少人就这样走过去,像什么也没有发生,那股暖流似乎绕开了这个可怜的生命,每走过去一个人,就像一把锋利的刻刀,毫不留情地刺入小悦悦的胸膛,直到一位拾荒的阿姨,轻柔地将她扶起,放在路旁,那股暖流又在她的身旁环绕,拾荒的阿姨大声喊着谁家的孩子,直到小悦悦的妈妈赶来。然而生命之花却将要枯萎,花瓣飘落殆尽,虽然经过抢救,但花儿还是留下了枝头。早已记不清路人冷漠的表情,只有拾荒的阿姨,那轻柔的扶起和着那暖潮,是对生命的怜惜,是善的光辉,那一股暖潮,驱赶着无情的冷漠与灰暗,治愈者人们心中的伤口。‛

同为小悦悦被碾压致死的热点事件,有的作文只是简单罗列了事件的经过,语言颇为单调,而这篇作文生动、形象的语言令阅卷老师眼前一亮。作者用“钢铁巨兽”代指碾压小悦悦的汽车,用“娇嫩的花朵”形容年幼的孩子,两相对比,小悦悦所受的巨大伤害跃然纸上,令人心疼不已;作者将路人的冷漠比作“锋利的刻刀”,可谓极其形象,写出了作者对路人的贬斥之情。

以上是五种运用热点素材的有效方法,考生若能把握其技巧,领会其精神,并常练习之,定能使热点素材为自己的作文锦上添花,博得阅卷老师的喝彩。需要给考生提醒的是,在平时,要关注现实,关心生活,要善于或有意识地去积累一些热点素材,使之形成素材库,以便自己在考试中灵活使用,而不至于到时茫然失措。

篇四:《作文焦点学教学目标》

教学目标

1、通过鉴赏,明确细节描写的内涵。

2、学习细节描写的这种写作方法。

3、掌握运用细节描写塑造典型的人物或场景

教学重点

细节描写的方法和细节描写的运用

教学难点

细节描写的运用

拟用教法

1、活动教学法 2、讨论法 3、激趣法

拟用教具

多媒体

课时安排

一课时

教学过程

一、导入

常言道:一滴水能反映出太阳的光辉,一片枯叶能显现肃杀的清秋,窥一斑而见“全豹”。那在我们的写作中,什么是那一滴中的太阳?什么是能呈现肃杀清秋的一片枯叶呢? 板书:一滴水中的太阳——作文中的细节描写

二:古诗激趣,聚焦细节

赏析古诗两首,明确细节内涵

1、 展示诗

材料一 约 客

赵师秀

黄梅时节家家雨,青草池塘处处蛙。

有约不来过夜半,闲敲棋子落灯花。

材料二 点 绛唇

李清照

蹴罢秋千,起来慵整纤纤手。露浓花瘦,薄汗轻衣透。

见客入来,袜刬金钗溜。和羞走,倚门回首,却把青梅嗅。

2、 两首诗中,使诗词韵味无穷,摇曳多姿是什么?为什么?

析:材料一、“闲敲棋子落灯花” 中的“闲敲”这一细节,表达了诗歌主人公因约客不来夜过半的烦躁。

材料二、“和羞走,倚门回首,却把青梅嗅。” 李清照的闺中生活真是中天在线无虑,充满了开心与欢乐。这首词的上片描写少女李清照荡秋千尽情嬉戏的场面。自由自在的少女宛如一支快乐的小鸟,在“露浓花瘦”的暮春季节,气候冷暖适宜,着“轻衣”而荡秋千,以至浑身“薄汗”,玩得酣畅淋漓。下片写外客来访、李清照匆忙躲入闺中这样一个忙乱的小场面。“蹴罢秋千”,稍作休息,却正好碰上了客人来访。为了躲避外客,慌张不知所措到“袜刬金钗溜”。象李清照这样大胆、真率、任性的少女,有如此过度的害羞与紧张,暗示着来客与她有着密切的关系。李清照毕竟不同一般少女,临进闺房之门的一刹那,她寻找借口“倚门回首”,峰回路转,佯装“却把青梅嗅”,暗地里端详来客。“青梅”的细节描写则将李清照如此忙乱慌张的原因点破,原来客人就是她“青梅竹马”的未来夫君。这一“回首”,再次显示出少女李清照的任性和与众不同。赵明诚是李清照的同乡,两人从小不一定玩耍长

大,“青梅”的典故是一种诗意夸张的运用。但这里典故用得天真、俏皮,闺中少女的羞怯、活泼与对未来夫婿的心仪,尽在这一“回首”中。

3、细节的内涵

从上面的赏析中我们不难体会到细节其传神之处,那么,什么叫细节描写呢?

细节描写是指抓住生活中的细微而又具体的典型情节,加以生动细致的描绘,它具体渗透在对人物、景物或场面描写之中。它是塑造人物,达到典型化的重要手段。

好的作品之所以能动人肺腑,精彩动人的细节描写是功不可没的。

三、形象回顾,欣赏细节

1、经典课文细节欣赏

材料三:

(阿Q)要画圆圈了,那手捏着笔只是抖,于是那人将纸铺在地上,阿Q伏下去,使尽平生的力画圆圈。他生怕被人笑话,立志要画得圆,但这可恶的笔不但很沉重,并且不听话,刚刚一抖一抖的几乎合缝,却又向外一耸,成了瓜子模样了。”

这个行为细节,具体、形象、生动地反映了阿Q的性格特点——直到死还恪守着自欺欺人的“精神胜利法”。当人们读到这一细节描写时,谁又能不觉得阿Q的可笑、可悲、可怜?又怎么会不“哀其不幸,怒其不争”,进而深思国民劣根性?

3、 我们所学的课文中,你最难忘的文学人物是谁?假如你是一位雕塑家,你会选取他的哪个细节进行创作?

总之,好的细节描写,就犹如一座座精美的灵魂,有了它才能使人物有血有肉,性格鲜明,形象栩栩如生起来。

四:明晰方法,感受细节

1、 动态造型

运用动词,对描写对象做动态展示,是细节描写中十分常见的方法。

想想:你会在空格的地方加一个什么样的字,来把人物写活?

材料四:

(正当欧也妮母女欣赏查理留下的梳妆匣时,葛朗台闯进屋)

一看见丈夫瞪着金子的眼光, 葛朗台太太便叫起来:

“上帝呀,救救我们!”

老头儿身子一纵,扑上梳妆匣,好似一头老虎扑上一个睡着的婴儿。

搬上银幕,这是一组绝好的电影镜头:“瞪着金子的眼光”,这是从葛朗台太太的角度看到的一对闪着攫取猎物凶光的眼睛的特写;伴随着“救救我们”的一声大叫,肯定是葛朗台太太那张极端恐怖的脸的特写;老头子“一纵”“扑上”,则又是一个由近景推成的以双手抓梳妆匣的特写。“纵”“扑”是猛兽(如狮、虎、豹、狼等)扑食弱小动物的动作,作者以之状写已经“跨到七十六个年头”的老守财奴的敏捷、迅猛,看似与年岁不符,实则和本性贴合。见钱眼开,见利忘义,不“纵”不“扑”怎么成其为葛朗台?因此,“纵”“扑”的细节,既形象展现了葛朗台饿虎扑食、秃鹫擒鸡般攫取金钱的丑态,带有动态的夸张性;又揭示了他崇拜金钱,聚敛无厌的思想本质,体现了动机的真实性。

材料五:

(葛朗台快要死了)神甫把镀金的十字架送到他唇边,给他亲吻基督的圣像,他却作了一个骇人的姿势想把十字架抓在手里,这一下最后的努力送了他的命。

这个“抓”的动作,十分传神,寓意深刻。原来他把黄灿灿的镀金,当成了“黄金”,于是不要命地“抓”了起来。见钱眼开,拼命聚敛钱财,才是他信奉的真正教义!在他的心目中,惟有金钱,基督圣像是不占地位的。这就是“抓”十字架细节的丰富而深刻的内含。这个细节,以含蓄的笔法,形象地勾勒出葛朗台贪婪、爱财如命的拜金主义者的典型特征。

思考:你还能在本册举出一些类似的例子吗?

如:犁的小说《荷花淀》“话别”这一情节里,有一个细节,当水生嫂听到丈夫说“明天我就要到大队上去 ”时,“女人的手指震动了一下,想是叫苇眉子划破了手,她把一个手指放在嘴里吮了一下”。作者用“放” 、“吮”这一举止,来揭示人物瞬间心理复杂微妙的感情活动。手指可以“伸”到嘴里,手指上的血可以“擦 ”或用口“吸”,但这不符合水生嫂的个性。突然听到丈夫已参军,她没有思想准备,心灵“震动”,即高兴,又有些舍不得,此时多少复杂的情感涌上心头。因此,作者用“放”和“吮”,给水生嫂作了生动的造型,传达出无限的情思,显示出人物的立体感,使这一形象显得真实、丰满。

2、 对比展示

即让同一个人在不同的情况下对待同一对象采取不同的,甚至完全矛盾的态度,造成鲜明对照。从而产生强烈的讽刺效果。或者同一个人的不同态度的对比。

想想:根据定义的范围,你能从学过到的课文中举出例子吗?

例子1: 《范进中举》《范进中举》中中举前后胡屠户离开范家的情形

中举前:屠户横披了衣服,腆着肚子去了。

中举后说了一会,千恩万谢,低着头,笑迷迷地去了。

例子2: 她初到鲁镇时,是“顺着眼,不开一句口,很像一个安分耐劳的人”。当过了二年,她第二次“站在四叔家堂前”时,“她顺着眼,角上带些泪痕,眼光也没有先前那样精神了”,从她“没有神采的眼睛”里,我们可以看到,经历了再嫁、再寡、夫死子亡的极度悲痛之后,她的身心受到了巨大的创伤。然而,灾难仍向她袭来。同情的人与冷酷的人、自私的人一起,把她往死里赶,残酷的精神折磨,逐渐使她精神失常,到后来,在别人冷冷的笑容里,她只是 “直着眼,和大家讲自己日夜不忘的故事”。从“顺着眼”到“直着眼”,这眼神前后差异的对比中,读者不难发现,是封建社会和吃人的宗教制度,使她失去了做人的资格。

例子3: 《变色龙》中奥楚蔑洛夫根据狗的主人的变化而变化的态度的对比,活画出奥楚蔑洛夫掩饰心虚胆怯的尴尬情状和媚上欺下,凌弱畏强的丑态。

3:运用修辞

巧妙的运用修辞,即比喻、拟人、夸张、反复等修辞手法,可以增强语言的生动性,变抽象为具体,使无形变为有形。

材料六:“老栓也向那边看,却只见一群人的后背,颈项都伸得很长,仿佛许多鸭,被无形的手捏住了的,向上提着。”