篇一:《优秀作文选二(初三)》
作文题目：
描述一件令你感到开心（或激动、遗憾、伤心、愤怒、失望等）的事情。请在作文中描述事情发生的过程、当时的情感，以及此事对你的影响。
写作要求：
1. 根据提示，用英语写一篇60字的短文。
2. 请在空格线上答题；每格写一个单词，标点可不占格。
3. 作文评分依据：语言、结构、内涵和文采。
读题分析
该作文题要求学生记叙身边所发生过的一件事，这件事情令你激动、遗憾、伤心、愤怒、失望等。学生可以选择自己独特的角度去描述，发挥空间很大，可以选取的写作素材也非常多，因为每一个个体的经历都是有别于其他人的。相信他们一定会发现有事可记叙，有话题可说。参赛考生如能将文章篇幅的80%用语描述，20%用于谈此事对作者的影响，这样写就达到写作要求，不会偏离本主题。
记叙文是以写人、叙事为主要内容的一种文体，也是英语作文中最普遍、最基本的文体。一般说来，有时间、地点、人物、时间、原因和结果六要素。记叙文的重点在于“述说”和“描写”。一篇记叙文只要把这些要素写清楚，文章就会内容具体、眉目清晰、中心意思明确。
写人时，要注意介绍人物的身世、经历和事迹等；叙事时，要写清事情发生于发展的过程以及事情法伤的前因后果等。
记叙文的写作特点如下：
（一） 人称：英语的记叙文一般是以第一或第三人称的角度来叙述的。
（二） 时态：记叙文一般分为事实记叙文和想象记叙文。事实记叙文是写已发生的真实事
情，常用一般过去时；想象记叙文是写虚拟的故事，常用一般现在时及将来时。本题目要求以事实叙述为主来写作。
（三） 叙述顺序
记叙文写作最常用的叙述顺序有以下几种：
1. 以时间为线索，按时间顺序展开；
2. 以地点为线索，以地点的转移为顺序展开；
3. 以事件发展的过程为线索，或以人物出现的先后顺序展开。
（四） 叙述的过渡
过渡在上下文中起着承上启下、融会贯通的作用。过渡往往用在地点转移或事件、事件转换以及由概括说明到具体说叙述。
（五） 叙述与对话
引用故事情节中主要人物的对话是提高记叙文表现力的一种好方法。适当地用直接引语代替间接的主观叙述，可以客观生动地反映人物的性格、品质和心理状态，使 记叙生动、有趣，使文章内容更加充实、具体。
佳作展评
习作一：
To keep or not
Something changed my life several years ago. My mum asked me whether I wanted a little brother. I was still very young at that time and was sulky because mum didn’t buy me a doll. I
thought that if I had a baby brother, he could be my toy. So I said. “Why not?” And the next thing I knew was my mother was pregnant! For Chinese children today, it isn’t common to have a sibling, but I do, and I love it. I waited for ten months until my mum was sent to hospital. I waited worriedly, crying for my mother and my baby brother. My eyes were swollen. When mum came home, I purred what an adoring thing!
Up to this day, I still do not regret my decision, even though my brother has already grown up and is not a cure little baby anymore.
综合点评：
该文从选材叙述的角度上独树一帜。文章一开头就开门见山，以“Something changed my life several years ago” 一句话告诉读者，她母亲怀孕要给她再生一个弟弟的消息。此事对于绝大多数中国独生子女的初中生来说，绝对是一个引人入胜的好故事，选材真实可信。她听到母亲怀孕时的喜出望外，和等待她母亲和弟弟回家的心理活动，这些描述都自然可信。此文把她对她母亲的担心和对弟弟的爱写得很感人。文章结尾简洁，但是令人回味无穷。把弟弟当做玩具享用到真心喜欢弟弟的姐弟之情在结尾句中自然流露。
习作二：
It was the most inspiring thing that ever happened in my life. I was fascinated by the drums when I was eight. I was imaging if I could have a set of real drums, I would be able to play in a band. But it’s only a dream for me. I pretended to play real drums when I was at home alone. I enjoyed waving my hands, hitting some books with chopsticks and making different sounds. present from my parents a week later. It was a set of drums! They encouraged me to keep on playing drums. They also told me to chase dreams and I was greatly inspired by my
综合点评：
此文记叙了作者如何梦想成真的一段经历。文章的开头告诉人们，“我”的生活中一件最令人鼓舞人心的事是有梦想就要追逐，永不放弃，就会梦想成真。作者的选词用句丰富，非谓语动词运用熟练。
下划线部分为表述不妥，或可以改进的地方。
修改1：has 改成had
修改2：Suddenly, my parents appeared at the door.改为One day my parents appeared at the door suddenly.
修改3：They were surprised and 改为Seeing their surprised eyes I…
修改4：anxious改为embarrassed
修改5：didn’t 改为couldn’t
修改6：However 改为Surprisingly
修改7：最后一句改为Now I never doubt that impossible is nothing if we keep on chasing our dreams.
习作三：
At the news that my grandfather was in hospital because of tuberculosis, I stared blankly at my mother, wishing her to say something else, something nice. But she wiped the corner of her eyes and stormed into her room, slamming the door with a resounding crash behind her. I picked up the notice form the hospital, wanting to tear it into pieces. How could such a thing ever happen? Suddenly, over the course of one night, my loving grandfather was sent to hospital, having water extracted out of his lungs, and he might be lying on his deathbed. It was almost too much for me. The shock was so great but I didn’t even cry, just standing beside the breakfast table, looking at the sun rays slanting downwards through the French windows. I loved my grandpa, and I wanted him to be lying on the balcony, healthy, joyful. I wanted to hold his dried, weathered hands. It was then that the teas crashed out of my eyes.
综合点评：
此文描述作者得知祖父得病后，她母亲一连串的动作和她本人当时的心理活动。作者用词自然真实准确，所选的词汇很好地表述了她母亲的悲痛心情。如 “wiped the corner of her eyes and stormed into her room, slamming the door with a resounding crash behind her.” 这篇文章主题鲜明，构思新颖，描写细致，运用了很多富有表现力的动词，使得文章非常有感染力。作者细腻传神的心情活动和描写值得初中生借鉴学习。文末最后没有谈及此事对自己的影响。不过本文的用词用句值得初中学生借鉴学习。
习作四：
I still remember how happy I was when I crossed the finishing line. Last Tuesday, our P.E. teacher said we would have a 100-meter test. Glancing at other students, they were all smiling at me. The reason is very simple: I’m famous for my weight! I must attend the test. “Run!” With the sharp word, I began to run. At first, I was in the middle of the line, thinking I wasn’t too fat. But then, more and more students left me behind. I felt hopeless and very tired. My legs moved more slowly, and I even wanted to stop. Suddenly, some words that my mum always tells me came into my mind: “You can do it, my boy! You can!” “Yes, I can!” I shouted! I wanted my arms crazily and ran faster and faster. I crossed the finishing line! I did it! I was so happy! From then on, I know that nothing is impossible.
综合点评：
文本内容很完整，“事情发生的过程、当时的情感，以及此事对本人的影响”，都写得头头是道；初中学生比较容易犯的“时态、语态”方面的错误，本文基本没有出现；语言生动，比如“Run!” With the sharp word, I began to run.语句之间借助连接词，承接自然，如：At first…But then…Suddenly…From then on…此外，短文还运用了现在分词作状语的句子，如：I was in the middle of the line, thinking I wasn’t too fat.
修改建议：Glancing at other students, they were all smiling at me是个现在分词做状语的句子，不过现在分词短语Glancing at other students逻辑主语和主句的主语they不一致，应修改为： When I was glancing at other students, they were all smiling at me.
习作五：
“Come on, you can do it,” I mumbled to myself over and over again before going onto the stage. I
smiled nervously at the audience below and started, “Good morning. I’m here to …e…elect the new chairperson.” I paused and my mind has gone blank. I couldn’t remember the speech that I had prepared for a long time. I rushed down the stage trying to find a place to hide. After a while, I calmed down and recollected myself. I thought about my previous horrible speech. Actually, the main reason of my failure was nervousness and too much pressure I wanted this position too much. Though slightly upset and disappointed with myself, I made up my mind to try once more. At last, I succeeded. From then on, whenever I felt distressed, I would tell myself to calm down. Nothing really matters that much. Just be ourselves.
综合点评：
总体印象：语法基本正确；标点符号使用规范；描述生动，如: “Come on, you can do it,” I mumbled to myself over and over again before going onto the stage.又如: “Good morning. I’m here to …e…elect the new chairperson.” I paused and my mind has gone blank.
作者善于使用复合句，如现在分词作状语的句子：I rushed down the stage trying to find a place to hide. 过去做让步状语的句子：Though slightly upset and disappointed with myself, I made up my mind to try once more.
本文在时态上有一些小问题。句子 “ I paused and my mind has gone blank.”应改为：I paused and my mind went blank.
习作六：
Say Goodbye
Golden leaves shuffled as autumn wind whispered softly. The setting sun sank to the horizon, painting the sky with a dark glow. Jack had been my best friend for five years, which made saying goodbye far too difficult for both of us. “Jack?” “Yes?” “Will you write letters? Or just send an email?” Jack broke into a smile. “Of course I will.” Silence fell again as we realized the hardest time had come. “Jack,” I stood up, “you’ll always be my best friend.” Jack gave me a hug. I’ll never forget that hug, because that was when two breaking hearts stayed the closest. “I’ll miss you.” And then he was gone. Thus I had experienced the first heartbreaking moment in my life, but I also learned: you’ll never say goodbye to your friends, because they’ll always live in your heart.
综合点评：
1、一切景语皆情语，开篇的景色描写秋风、落叶、黄昏，与作者将要展现的惜别之情相映成趣。
2、分词伴随状态和非限制性定语从句的熟练使用展现了作者的英语应用能力。
习作七：
The Most Exciting Thing
When it comes to the most exciting thing in my life, I will definitely choose the group singing at the school art festival, which adds a brilliant touch to my memory.
As the school art festival approached, we four girls decided to sing a song, but trouble came one after another. Mistakes, arguments and conflicts almost separated us. However, strong minds
brought us together and made us more determined to reach the success. We, four girls, sang hear and soul in pursuit of a perfect performance. Finally, when we stood confidently in the spotlight and sang the song we had practiced for hundreds of times, cheers rose from every corner of the theatre.
In fact, it’s more than a performance. It’s a dream of our girls. It will always impress the best upon my mind.
综合点评：
本篇短文具有以下三个特点：
1、 语言能力突出。语言能力之运用语言做事的能力，涉及语言、技能和话题。如：首段的
地道语言When it comes to, definitely choose, adds a brilliant touch to 和精湛的表达技能——运用复合句，即第一段为完整的一个句子，以及准确把握话题——描述一件令人感到开心的事。
2、 彰显文化能力。文化能力指跨文化交际的能力，包括文化知识、文化行为和文化意识。
本篇短文的英语表达能支撑语言思维，体现在语言得体、有效、理性等，如第二段的语言运用art festival approached, trouble came one after another, mistakes, arguments and conflicts,以及However, strong minds brought us together and made us more determined to reach…在文化意识上所体现出的价值观和包容态度。
3、 体现了多维思维方式。思维方式是文化的本质内涵，具体分反思性思维、批判性思维和
创造性思维。反思性思维重点在于自我反省；批判性思维在于客观评估；创造性思维在于创新意识。如最后一段In fact, it’s more than a performance. It’s a dream of four girls. It will always impress…
本篇作文对中学生的写作启示是：语言、文化、思维是相互依存、相互关联的整体，写作时应关注这三个维度。
习作八：
My educational trip to Hawaii has left a deep impression on me. During last winter vacation, I flew to Hawaii and stayed with my host family for a week. I really had the time of my life there. What impressed me most was making cookies. With my host mum’s help, I mixed flour, butter, sugar and milk powder together and baked according to the cookbook. Those cookies were served as desserts the other day. I was so proud when everyone enjoyed my “work.”
Ever since then, I have been keen on trying new things. I am easily getting afraid of failure, however, a little step can ease me and, after I finished a single step, I had a sense of achievements which encouraged me to start the next one. Life is made up of small paces, too. Whenever the trouble comes, it reminds me of that cookie-making experience.
综合点评：
首先，本文写作思路清晰、内容充实、结构完整。本文根据写作提示描述了一件令他/她感到开心的事情，夏威夷之旅轶事——在主人家做甜饼。文中不仅简要描述了制作甜饼的过程，以及大家喜欢甜饼给作者带来的愉悦和自豪心情，而且还详细介绍了此事对他/她生活的态度产生的积极影响。{喜出望外初三作文}.
其次，语言表达准确，但词语和结构却并不复杂。如：开篇首句中的…has left a deep impression on me. 第二段中的Those cookies were served as desserts the next day, I was so
篇二:《2014年中考作文范文》
母爱的味道
运动保健法、善食平衡法，多次考究之后，一向担心我身体的妈妈开始研究酸碱平衡调节法，而我，是她一直不变的研究重心。而后，最让我难忘的是那蜂蜜柠檬的清香味道，更是母爱的味道！
不知什么时候，妈妈的纯绿色的植物园里又入住了一名新成员——柠檬树，妈妈像待宝贝似的看护着。可它好似“不领情”，半年只零星的结了几个果子。
那天柠檬果第一次成熟，真像是几经磨难摘来的“仙人果”。妈妈欣喜而小心翼翼地摘下第一个，洗净将它切出三片，泡入温水中，第一个递给我，看到新鲜欲滴的柠檬，我不禁馋涎欲滴，咕咚一大口，啊！又酸又苦，“这水……„真好喝‟”！”放下杯子快步走回书房间，妈妈紧随其后，“儿子，我查过，你是酸性体质，这碱性柠檬可以中和你的酸性火气，还减肥！”“求你了！”妈妈像小孩似得恳求着不肯走。我鼻子酸酸的，勉强再端起杯子，使劲憋长气，喝中药似的一饮而尽，滴水不剩。“谢谢妈！”我强作欢笑和满意地抹了抹嘴角。妈妈顿时心花怒放，一转身一溜烟儿的走了。
从此之后的每晚饭饭后一小时，妈妈准时的端给我一杯柠檬水，我也一次又一次“憋气”。妈妈总是耐心的等我喝完。其实我知道自己喝下的不只是一杯柠檬水，那里流淌着太多妈妈对我健康的寄托。
一次身体不适，实在受不了柠檬水的酸苦，便想背着妈妈倒进水池。不幸“证据”被妈妈一眼看尽，我只好竖着耳朵等着妈妈的责怪。“儿子，如果柠檬味道难喝，妈给你加勺蜂蜜试试！”说着重新小心的切取三片柠檬，将所剩不多的包好，又将两大勺蜂蜜平稳倒入水中搅好，自己先闻闻，好像很满意才端给我。我喝了一小口，嗯，果然不再酸苦！我不再像以前那样“憋气”而是畅饮，自己先忍不住笑了。又一次，妈妈顿时心花怒放，一转身哼着小曲儿走了。
妈妈没讲良药苦口的大道理，执着的她那么快的妥协，只是希望我喝下的不只是良药，更多的是快乐和健康！
柠檬树的成长，妈妈收获的是种植的辛苦和给我喝一杯杯柠檬水时的幸福，而我品尝到的是由柠檬水的苦涩到香甜和妈妈一次次的欣慰。冬天柠檬树掉光了叶子，而妈妈还珍藏着几个少有的“仙人果”，一天只少三片；而我的心里珍藏满满的却是熟悉的蜂蜜柠檬味道，妈妈的味道，香甜越来越浓……
收藏阳光般的母爱
阳光在玻璃杯中折射出绚丽的光芒，是我永久的回忆，是我快乐的时光，是我得到母爱的见证。___题记
酒可以收藏，则越陈越香美；画可以收藏，则越久越值钱；邮票可以收藏，日后看到就能回想以前的记忆。那么阳光呢？阳光又是否能够收藏呢？我的收藏阳光——母爱。
“母爱比蓝天高，比大海深”，在我小的时候，对这句话似懂非懂，但经过了一件事后，我似乎才真正地懂得了这句表面简单而含义深刻的语言。{喜出望外初三作文}.
还记得那是在我上三年级的时候，那是一个洋溢着落叶气息的秋天，窗外那似珍珠和钻石一般大小的雨滴，像一个大的水帘一样从天而降，落到地上，飞溅起一颗颗晶莹的水花。放学了，同学们一起排队走出了校门，而我却没有拿伞，只能独自一人站在教学楼的屋檐下，等待妈妈来接我，等着等着，我不禁心中泛起一阵阵波澜：每天妈妈都会来接我，可今天。 失意的我静静地站在屋檐下，望着那逐渐离去的人群，始终没有妈妈的身影。我烦躁的情绪带着一丝着急和埋怨。正在这时，一个熟悉的身影出现在我的眼前，是妈妈来了，只见她脸上满是奔波的疲劳，见我不高兴的样子，妈妈脚还没有站稳就关切地说：“儿子，让你等急了，妈妈今天开会来晚了。”见我打了个冷战，就连忙把自己的外衣脱下，给我披上。我的心不禁一颤，刚才对妈妈的一切责怪都成了感激。我和妈妈走在回家的路上，雨越下越
大，“咚咚”地砸在雨伞上，我抬头一看，我的头顶是一片粉色的雨伞，再看妈妈的头上，是一片粉色和灰色相交的天空。
“妈妈，伞歪了！”我赶忙说。{喜出望外初三作文}.
“没有呀！”妈妈回答地很坦然。
“可是伞明明是歪了呀！”
妈妈神秘地笑了笑，没有再理睬。回到家后，妈妈的半边身体被雨水淋湿了，而且由于衣服单薄，妈妈感冒了。
第二天，我说陪在妈妈身边，但她执意要让我去上学，在上学的路上，我想到妈妈对我的疼爱，心潮汹涌澎湃，禁不住头涔涔而泪潸潸了。
啊，母爱，你是多么伟大！多么高尚！多么深远！
这样的母爱怎能不让我珍藏，我要收藏阳光般的母爱，收藏她的纯真、无私和伟大！ 让母爱的阳光永远地陪伴我人生的旅程！
阳光般的父爱
盈盈月光，我掬一捧最清的；落落余晖，我拥一缕最暖的；灼灼红叶，我摘一束最灿的；漫漫人生，我要采撷世间最美的鲜花，送给我的父亲。
半夜，我突然发烧头痛，可不敢给妈妈说，